The Finer Points of Genso Suikoden II
by link no miko
Summary: Poking fun at the Genso Suikoden II translations. Second verse, same as the first.


Hello, peoples. As I said in my summary, this is the same exact thing as my other fic by the same name, only completely different. *shameless plug intended* Beware of flying spoilers, but you wouldn't be reading this if you hadn't beaten the game, ne? Oh, and there ARE spoilers for 1) if you didn't play the first game and therefore get things unlocked in the second game, and 2) if you didn't get a perfect save in the first game. Other than that, any and all spoilers apply only to Genso Suikoden II. Please enjoy.  
  
  
  
  
  
The castle at North Window was abounding with activities. Everyone was preparing for the concert Annallee was going to perform that very night. Since the early morning, there had been no silence in those great halls.  
  
"C'mon c'mon! We gotta hurry up or we'll run out of time!!!" Nanami bounded down the stairs, dragging her irate brother behind her. For his part, our Hero didn't say a thing.  
  
After nearly falling down the stairs, Nanami delivered her erstwhile brother into the hands of Flik and Viktor.  
  
"You gotta get him ready for tonight, cause he's helping Jowy with the show!" With that, the hyper girl ran off. Viktor and Flik turned to their leader, smiles on their faces.  
  
"Well, leader, let's get your ready. We only have so much time left before Annallee sings." Viktor pulled the boy to his feet, and together they went through the halls until they reached the courtyard, where a giant stage had been erected. Half the castle was already there, fixing lights, making sure the stage was stable, and all around being their goofy selves. Nanami was also there, talking with a very agitated Feather.  
  
"What's going on over there? Shall we go?" Flik didn't wait for a reply as he took off towards the backstage area, expecting the other two to follow him. When they all reached Nanami, she was trying to console the poor feathered warrior.  
  
"There there, Feather, it's not so bad. I mean, it's really a very nice name……"  
  
"No it's not! My name is FEATHER! Feather! That's such a gay name!"  
  
Nanami pouted and waggled her finger in front of his eyes. "Now now, that's not a very nice thing to say. You shouldn't use a word like that as an adjective."  
  
"But I'm not! They think so too!" He pointed a claw over at Miklotov and Camus, who were sitting by themselves, whispering to each other. Miklotov looked up when his name was called, his legs crossed.  
  
"Did you say something?"  
  
Feather sighed as he put his claw down. "How much you want to bet my real name is something like Demon Wind, but Konami—"  
  
Nanami put a hand over his beak, silencing him. "Shh, we must never say their name, or they might hear us! Who knows what they'll do then!!!!!!" She noticed the others then, and her face lit up as she grabbed her brother's arm, shoving him before the giant griffin. "Look at him, for instance! He doesn't even have a name!! Well actually he DOES have a name, it's Riou I think, but most people don't know that so it's the same as using the name you gave him in the game, it's just confusing!! And Suikoden fics are hard to write, because people get confused if you use the name you gave him, so I can't let them know that our Game Mistress named him Jeremy—argh!" She turned bright red and pointed an accusing finger at her brother. "That's it! We need a name for you! From now on you'll be known as UH!"  
  
Jer—UH pointed to himself, one eyebrow raised. "UH?" Behind him, someone hissed and another whispered "He speaks!"  
  
Nanami nodded enthusiastically. "It's ok it's ok. UH means Unnamed Hero. So, we'll call you that!! Are you ok with that?"  
  
Viktor popped up from behind UH. "I'm fine. But, isn't UH still a name that people can get confused with?" Nanami glared at Viktor, then turned her head and left.  
  
UH's jaw dropped as Nanami cheerfully went on to more people, causing mayhem as she went. "What the hell kind of name is UH?" The same two people said the same things behind his back—hiss, "he speaks!"—and he heard Viktor whisper to Flik: "Well, he's already said more than McDohl ever did………."  
  
UH left the two, his face red with anger, and went over to see Futch, who was half asleep. Miklotov and Camus were at a table across from him, whispering together. When UH went to talk to his friend, Futch waved him away, his eyes still closed.  
  
"I'm tired, let's do it later." There went that eyebrow again on UH. Suddenly, Futch realized what he'd said and sat bolt upright, his face beet red as he waved his hands before him. "That's not what I meant! I didn't mean it like that!!!! That's them!" He pointed to Miklotov and Camus.  
  
"……later tonight. Huh?" Camus looked over at them from where he had been whispering to Miklotov, and smiled brightly. "Did you say something, my lord?" Both Futch and UH were wide-eyed and bright red, but shook their heads no, shying away very slowly, then making a break for it when the two stopped looking at them.  
  
Breathing heavily, the two friends stopped to sit against a wall, trying hard not to laugh. They were about to get up when Humphrey walked by, wearing a pink tutu.  
  
"Um, Humphrey…….what do you think you're wearing?" Futch's face was bright red and his eyes were wide. Humphrey just looked at him, as calm as if he was just wearing his normal clothes.  
  
"I'm getting into the Crystal Ballet. This is the only way they said I could."  
  
"Crystal Ballet? We've been looking for the Crystal VALLEY, not the BALLET.  
  
Humphrey just stared at Futch, and a slow blush crept up his face. Suddenly: "WHAT?!??!!!!!!!!!!!! Then, what we were told, at the end…….?"  
  
"Yes, Humphrey. It was a mistake." They watched together as Humphrey ran away, flinging his arms out like a little girl having a conniption fit, crying. They were about to stand when Freed Y noticed them and came over.  
  
"My lord, how are you!!!"  
  
UH looked up at his star, a questioning look on his face. "Um, fine?"  
  
"Why do you say that like a question, sir!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Why are you shouting?"  
  
Freed looked stunned. "I'm not shouting sir, I'm asking you a question!!"  
  
Futch pointed at Freed. "You're shouting. Notice your punctuation?"  
  
"?"  
  
Futch turned to UH and slapped hands. "Alright, we got a question mark out of him!" They both stood and walked away, whistling happily. Freed stood there, then felt a warm arm on his shoulder.  
  
"How is my lord doing Yoshino?"  
  
Freed's eyes widened in surprise, then he turned to his wife. She was looking at him expectantly. "I'm fine, just fine!" Yoshino smiled and dragged him away.  
  
  
  
The day drew on as everyone prepared for the concert. It was only hours away, and the entire castle was excited. Flik and Viktor did what Nanami told them to, and tried their hardest to make sure young UH looked his best and knew what was going on. Pohl just walked around, making sure the chores were done. Jowy arrived a few hours earlier, and was previewing his stage, tapping his foot against the floorboards, making sure they were solid.  
  
"And you're sure……………..this thing is safe?……."  
  
"Yes, Jowy, for the last time it's fine." Culgan and Seed were both getting a bit peeved at their king.  
  
"Well, I was just wondering…………" He noticed UH then, and waved his arms in the air. "Jeremy, come on over here!"  
  
Nanami was there in a second, Viktor close behind. She'd been talking with him about something and the poor man had been dragged with her.  
  
"Jowy, don't say his name!! It's bad, he's called UH now."  
  
"………………………………………..UH? What the hell kind of name is UH?" Jowy turned to Seed and Culgan, but they shook their heads; they had no clue as well.  
  
"It means Unnamed Hero, ok ok?" Behind her, Viktor cleared his throat and muttered "ok ok."  
  
UH appeared then, smiling broadly at his friend and sister, Futch close behind. Futch noticed Seed and Culgan, however, and stopped, peering at them closely.  
  
"Jowy, it's about time you got here. C'mon, we have to get ready. You can't wear that outfit for Annallee's concert." UH pointed to the military uniform Jowy was wearing.  
  
"Well, why not? It's not a bad uniform…………."  
  
"It's Highland's uniform, that's why. C'mon, Annallee has something she wants us to wear." With that, UH pulled Jowy away, everyone else standing perfectly still. Everyone, that is, except Futch.  
  
"You know, you're wearing pink." He pointed to Seed's outfit.  
  
"Yeah, so what?"  
  
Futch smiled coldly. "I have the perfect table for you to sit at; I'm sure those two would be thrilled if you sat with them." He pulled Culgan and Seed after him, snickering as he took them to the table he'd formerly sat in.  
  
"Well, c'mon then everyone, we have to get ready. Hurry hurry!!!!!!!" Nanami ushered everyone, shooing them away from the stage. Viktor waited for her to leave, then copied her shooing motions.  
  
"Hurry hurry! Bah, that girl needs to learn some new vocabulary."  
  
  
  
Finally, it was time for the concert! Everyone was seated outside, the cool dusk air comfortable in the summer heat. Pilika sat beside Jowy and Jillia in the front row, UH and Nanami on his other side. Both UH and Jowy were wearing white outfits: knee-length jackets with a vest and white pants. They had complained, of course, but Annallee was a slave driver. Flik and Viktor sat beside them with Shu, and Eilie sat behind UH, constantly trying to start up a conversation, and always failing miserably.  
  
"Um, UH, so…….how is everything…..? No, that doesn't sound right……….So, UH, why don't we watch this together?" She turned bright red as she heard her own voice. "Ack!!! No, I didn't mean that. I don't really have anything to say to you, just……….kinda…………..sitting here, you know!"  
  
UH turned halfway around and looked at her. "Did you say something, Eilie? Why are you bright red? Are you feeling ok?" Eilie sank into her chair, nodding her head yes. UH smiled. "That's good, wouldn't want you to feel bad."  
  
Suddenly, Jowy stood up and marched onto the stage, Pilika trailing behind him, her hand in his. Once in front of everyone, she hid her face with her teddy bear and hid behind Jowy's leg. Jillia smiled up at both of them.  
  
"Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to the North Window Concert. I'm your MC, Jowy, and your very own hero will be the other MC. UH, get up here!!" He beckoned to UH, who was pushed to his feet by Eilie and Nanami. A bit red and shaking, UH crawled onto the platform beside his friend. "So, UH, have any words for our guests?"  
  
Someone held up a sign that only had one choice on it, and UH read: "Enjoy the show, everyone, and loan them your strength!"  
  
Everyone assembled clapped, and Jowy smiled at his friend. "Nice work, UH. Now, the moment you've all been waiting for…………………………………………Annallee!!!!!!!!"  
  
Clapping was heard as the two MC's took their seats and Annallee and her band came out on stage. They bowed to everyone, then Pico strummed a few chords, and Alberto began the bass rhythm. Annallee smiled, then opened her mouth as the song began.  
  
"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"  
  
She bowed, and everyone clapped loudly. Viktor turned to some random guy behind him, nudging him. "Great, don't you think?"  
  
Random Guy held out his hand. "Pay me 50 potch and I'll tell you what I think." Viktor handed over the required money, grumbling a bit. "?u‰Ä‚Ì‚¹‚¢‚¾?v."  
  
Viktor blinked at the man, then smacked him upside the head. "Asshole."  
  
Jowy and UH once again ascended the stage once the concert was over.  
  
"Wasn't that lovely, everyone!!! Let's have a round ofapplause for Annallee and her band members, Pico and Albert!" Jowy lead everyone in a round of applause, UH following suit. When the clapping had once again subsided, Jowy cleared his throat. "And now, everyone, we have a……………different…………….sort of performance. Your very own Feather," behind him, everyone could very easily hear the distressing cry of "Feather!" from said griffin, "shall be performing some stunts for you. But first, there's something I must say."  
  
Motioning for UH to step back a bit, Jowy stood in the sudden spotlight, holding the mic up, his expression dramatic.  
  
"Excuse me, Konami, but what the," the subsequent bad word was hidden by another plaintive cry of "Feather!" so no one heard it, "did you do to us? It took you, what, three years to release this damn game in the US, and STILL there are problems!!!!!!!!! What did we do wrong?!!!!!!" At this point, Joei began pacing, and Pilika ran to Jillia. "I mean, honestly, there are so many mistakes here! And—" He stopped suddenly, looking behind him.  
  
"What's wrong my lord?" Jillia sat straight, her face worried.  
  
Jowy pointed behind himself. "Did…………..My name…….did I just see what I think I saw…………..? UH……………….?" UH nodded. "I thought so." Jowy once again began his rant. "And now, onto name things." He pointed into the audience, to a dark haired boy wearing a bandanna. "Come here, please."  
  
The boy nodded and walked to the stage, but refused to climb up it. Joei didn't mind.  
  
"What's your name, sir?"  
  
"?cDohl," said a blond-haired man with a scar, sitting in the audience.  
  
"?cDohl? What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
The same blond-haired man answered. "Well, our Game Mistress has his name as McDohl, but her sister has his name as JcDohl, so we have decided his name will be ?cDohl." Jowy nodded and told the boy to go sit down. He then pointed to a man, standing off to the side, leaning on the wall.  
  
"You sir, there! Do you have anything to say?!!"  
  
The man looked up at Jowy, his expression pleading. "Please accept the job."  
  
Jowy's left eye twitched, but he continued. "And there you have it, Konami Could you get any worse!!!!!! You no good--" He was cut off by Nanami jumping him from behind, dragging him off the screen.  
  
"Sorry for the inconvenience, folks. He's just not feeling very well. Please continue to enjoy the show, ok, ok!!"  
  
UH swallowed the lump in his throat as he took a step forward. "Um, hi. Yeah, could everyone please turn their heads to the sky, where Fea—" Someone walked up and handed him a piece of paper, then calmly walked away. "Where Demon Wind will be performing for us tonight. Thank you."  
  
  
  
The night was a success. Everyone enjoyed the concert and talent acts immensely, and Eilie even got another smile from UH. But now, everyone was tired, and most the townsfolk were in bed.  
  
Most, that is, except for two.  
  
The blond man worried as his charge leapt up onto the stage, being as silent as possible. "I don't think we should do this, Young Master. I mean, what if you're caught?"  
  
McDohl smiled and gave Gremio a thumbs up, then crept to the center of the stage. There, he fixed his clothes, cleared his throat, and stared straight ahead.  
  
"Save file?" 


End file.
